Voices of Transformation

Imagine being in a leadership position and your major role involves making presentations to different audiences but every time you stand get on stage this is what is going through your mind; ‘You’ll mess this up like you always do!’, ‘You shouldn’t be the one addressing these people!’, ‘Mary would do a better job at this than you!’ This was me before I did Alabastron.

To give you a little backstory, these voices hadn’t started in my adult life. I had always been unsure about myself in different areas from way back in my childhood.…

Hi, you can call me CWN. I am at that stage in life where I feel I had started panicking about not finding anyone I felt I could get seriously involved with. Finding that partner to do life and love with seemed all so elusive. I was disillusioned and reeling from the hurt of past romantic involvements, that to me seemed held the promise of a future, but I soon found out how mistaken I was. One thing to know about me, is that I love with all my heart, infact some would say I love too intensely…

The alarm goes off, I reach for it, trying to shut off the buzzer before that irritating ring goes off again. Fingers fumbling, eyes barely open, I am barely awake, but I feel it finally and press the button. Aaaaah, silence at last! A new day, it’s Monday! It’s Monday, the emptiness floods in. I look across the vast king size bed, it used to be our playground, he’s starting to stir too, his back is towards me. I miss life, I miss living. What happened, when did life become so dull, so grey, so drab? I…

She unbuckles herself and jumps out of the bumper cars. She looks around eagerly as she wonders which ride to try next. Her girlfriends are with her, it’s a girls’ day out. A throwback to days gone by, spending a day at the Luna Park. There is hustle and bustle all around. Grown ups and children alike are having a wonderful time. She is laughing, the deep belly laughs of her childhood, tears of joy streaming down her face. It’s so long since she just let go. They run together to the dancing giant tea cups, the…

Let me briefly take you to my past so we can all set off from the same departure point. Mmmmh…you see…part of it I can’t even recall. Okay, before Alabastron, I, Rhomel was a broken lady. Not only did I live in the dark but I danced and dined there too. I was in a long-distance relationship with my daughter’s father. The once angelic and romantic relationship of weekends filled with roses and colored-scented candle surprises turned abusive. Before I knew it, we were in the courts, battling for child custody. I won.

The experience…

“I’m ok!”, is my standard answer. I roll my eyes and wonder, why do people keep asking me if I am ok, don’t I look ok? Leave me alone! Can’t you see, how ok I am? I am put together, I am Ms. Me. I have my stuff together, I have the house, the job and a loving relationship with a guy who loves me. I am happy, aren’t I or shouldn’t I be?

Night falls. I am all alone. Gosh, it’s so quiet. What do I do? It’s time to sleep but I don’t…

My name is Caroline. I am a lecturer at a Kenyan University. I am a born-again Christian and I fellowship at one of the mainstream churches in Nairobi.

A dear friend of mine, Nancy introduced me to the Alabastron Renewing Self Programme. Nancy described the programme as a welcoming and non-judgemental space, where my voice counted and I would be heard.

At the time, I was dealing with the trauma of having been abandoned by my husband for another woman. I just wanted someone who would listen to me, reassure me and…